I absolutely love to find out my own patterns, beliefs and rules that I was not previously aware of . It’s challenging to see ones self. Then obstacles arise and, searching for a way out of the pain, I can then pull apart the layers of my thinking that I previosly didn’t ever think to look at. Okay, so I don’t love the pain part, but I love the learning where I can be more and then create differently so that my life is that much better. We are all experimenting and learning here. It’s just that often we think we are right. What or who makes the rules that you live by? Do you question your rules? Some rules are so ingrained in us. Do you have a dessert should come with dinner rule? What are your rules for what a portion is? Do you feel deprived if you get a small portion and what are your rules for that? Do you have a rule that says equality must rule, so if you didn’t get your share what are your rules saying you are entitled to? Do you have rules that say certain foods are for certain times of the day? Rules are not a bad thing. They can be agreed on and make it easier for people to do all sorts of things. They can make the game you are playing winable. I’m asking then, what game are you playing and is it a winning game for you? If you have a rule that says everyone ought to get the same portions of food for example and your kids want snacks by TV, you might find yourself needing snacks by TV too. You are abiding your rule, but is it one that is adding inches to your thighs or fog in your brain? You might make a new rule that supports you better. When living with others you can have a family meeting to decide on new rules that support everyone. For yourself, you might want to create rules that are something you can actualy live with and not ones that are too difficult to follow either. For example, some students of mine have rules that they must exercise a certain amount of time every day. If they can not fit it in they feel badly and often abandon the exercise or overeat in retaliaion. How about a rule that says exercise 5-6 days a week and if you only have time for 30 minutes, do that instead of nothing at all. That’s bending the rules in a positive way. Now how are you going play???
